vera

2008-02-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

Every relationship comes with it a fair share of joy and pain
and over time ive come to discovered that the source differs.
Some subtle, some outright.
One thing im quite sure,
Is that both touches the heart as much.
It was only till today, that i discovered that subtle actions
and outright ones have the same impact as
they can either built or tear down a person.

4/2/08

2007-10-07T05:16:00.000-07:00

Doris Day
Que Sera Sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

quote of the day: i think God thinks I'm super girl....

<3<3
stupid stupid!

2007-09-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Our time is running out.

2007-09-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

Real love lets you figure out the answers by yourself.

It says goodbye for a season and prays for your return

Real love understands about love and sacrifice

And is willing to live accordingly.

I just love quotes, don't you? :)
Heh, I decided to look up some definitions of the word "Waiting" today and here's what i found!

Definitions of "Waiting":

Noun:
a period of waiting; pause, interval, or delay. Inaction.

Adjective:
-serving or being in attendance: waiting man; waiting woman. waiting maid
-To remain or rest in expectation
-being and remaining ready and available for use

Verb:
To work as a waiter or waitress.

Idiom:
in waiting, in attendance, as upon a royal personage. (God! :D)

The definitions in the above fit nicely into what we all already know about the word "Waiting". They say "Waiting" is a period of inaction but after reading what Elizabeth Elliot has to say about "Waiting", Ive taken on a different perspective. Waiting, like Love, is a verb. It is the declaration of your dependence on God. It involves restraint and complete surrender. When you wait, you don't rush ahead of God and make things happen. All you do is watch and pray, trust and obey. Most importantly, Ive come to learn that waiting entails you and God only. You wait on Him and never, for the person.

Love is patient, love is kind,

It does not envy, it does not boast It is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Jamie held on to this, and so will I.

2007-08-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

It used to be only Mondays,
Today I realised it had always been Mondays and Thursdays
Why vera, why so blind?
Well soon, it would be Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.

There are times like today when it gets to her
And so she questions:

"And shall i fear
That there is anything that men hold dear
Thou would'st deprive me of,
And nothing give in place?"

Her Father hears her cry and gently replies:

"My Child, I died for thee.
And if the gift of Love and Life
You took from Me,
Shall I one precious thing withhold--
One beautiful and bright,
One pure and precious thing withhold?
My child, it cannot be."

Hearing His reply,
She smiles and quietly give thanks,
To the One who never ceases to be faithful.

2007-08-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i don't really know what to blog about

Because so often i question how real one is, as they write, including myself.

We often post what we want others to know and see

Yet, most of the time, we dont explicitly state them.

And maybe the reason why i find it hard to post something here today

Is because, deep beyond what i want to type out now,

I'm trying to fit in a line or two, specially for you.

But as usual, i fail.

P/s: As much as these three days of being at home has given me much rest and time to pray and journal, i still cant wait to return back to school and join my class!:D

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2007-07-22T03:20:00.000-07:00

"Dear God,
Here i am, standing at a crossroad,
And i know there's a choice I've got to make.
Yes i know its sad,
But I believe there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me.
Getting there means leaving things behind.
And sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye
God, grant me the serenity to accept
The things i cannot change
The courage to change the things i can
And the wisdom to know the difference
In Your most precious name i pray,
Amen." :)

Lessons Learned

"There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo.
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should have taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I'd get threw the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past.
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all
Lessons learned.

2007-07-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

I'm learning the art of waiting without expectation.

The loveliest wedding song ive ever heard:

When God made you

When God made you
It’s always been a mystery to me
How two hearts can come together
And love can last forever
But now that I have found you,
I believe That a miracle has come
When God sends the perfect one
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life

Chorus:
I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me too

I promise that wherever you may go
Wherever life may lead you
With all my heart I’ll be there too
From this moment on I want you to know
I’ll let nothing come between us
And I will love the ones you love

Bridge:
He made the sun
He made the moon
To harmonize in perfect tune
One Can’t move without the other
They just have to be together
And that is why I know it’s true
You’re for me and I’m for you
‘Cause my world just Can’t be right
Without you in my life

Tag chorus:
He must have heard every prayer
I’ve been praying
Yes He knew everything I would need
When God made you
When dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me too

2007-07-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Joy is the silent confidence that Jesus is in control and He loves you no matter what happens. :)

2007-06-13T03:48:00.000-07:00

Someone really smart wrote this:

Veratic Climates

a)Location
Regions of Sadness

b)Characteristics of the climate
Hysterical flows of tears

c)The Controls

Me :)
Let her suck on a lollipop
Smile at her
And never never use tissue paper

Why am i not suprise that you have once again,
impressed me (:

2007-05-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

Children's Thoughts on Love<3

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something,but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."

... Manuel, age 8

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too."

...Greg, age 8

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat.French fries usually works for me."

... Bart, age 9

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention,but attention ain't the same thing as love."

... Alonzo, age 9 "

"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind ... Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."

... Natalie, age 9

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."

...Regina, age 10

2007-05-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

Emily must have been really scared when she heard about Justin's posting to Iraq...

Ever After.

How did you do that Emily, tell me.

2007-05-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

It was a busy morning, approximately 8 :30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking repeatedly at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On examination, it was well-healed, so I talked to one of the doctors,got the needed supplies to remove his stitches and redressed his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation.
I asked him if he had an important appointment that morning, as heseemed to be in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no ;that he only needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while already and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and that she had not recognized him for five years now.
I was surprised, and asked further.." And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are ? "
He smiled as he patted my hand and said :"She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is. "
I had to hold back my tears as he left.I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought :

" That is the kind of love I want in my life. "
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
" The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the best of everything that comes along their way. "

hey sweets, if ure reading this, thank you for sharing this story with me, you know i'll appreciate this right? (:

2007-04-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

A walk to remember

2007-03-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

Your spiritual heart is the most important part of you.

It's the "you" that will live forever.

It's the place where you make decisions

about whom you will love,

whom you will forgive

and whom you will forbear

and ultimately, its your heart that relates to God.

2007-02-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

Whats even now, without every after? (:

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.
I want it more than I can tell.
And for once it might be grand,
to have someone understand...
I want so much more than they've got planned.

belle*

2007-01-23T07:18:00.000-08:00

A Pure Heart

A pure heart that's what I long for

A heart that follows hard after Thee

A pure heart that's what I long for

A heart that follows hard after Thee

A heart that hides Your Word

So that sin will not come in

A heart that's undivided

But one You rule and reign

A heart that beats compassion

That pleases You my Lord

A sweet aroma of worship

That rises to Your throne

2007-01-04T05:07:00.000-08:00

" Real isnt how you are made, its a thing that happens to you." said the Skin Horse.

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes..." said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful
"When you are real, you dont mind being hurt"

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked,
"Or bit by bit?"

"It doesnt happen all at once,"said the Skin Horse.

"You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesnt often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who dont understand... but once you are Real, you cant become unreal again, it last forever..."

From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams

I was at this Tcafe in cameron highlands when i chance upon this book by danielle steel( i know Ms K does not like her, haha) and when i opened the book, ,i caught sight of this extract from the book "The Velveteen Rabbit" and i found it really meaningful so thought i'd shared it here.

Becoming Real is something that God is still in the process of teaching me and i guess its the same when it comes to mastering the art of feminine mystique, it takes time, but once you become, it lasts forever...

2007-01-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2006!1st 3 months...
06A05!
For GIRLS who dare!
My 1st mission trip 'June My 2 best friends 'November
Eunice(our mentor!)' December
Christmas Candlelight Service

M&M

These can make me smile(:

I'll miss you, 2006!
It has really been such an eventful year and I seriously don't think these few pictures actually do justice to all that God has blessed me with for the past twelve months. If only i could post a picture of my family and CG up too, but blogger does not seem to allow me to, oh well! :(

Hmmm, school starts tomorrow and I'm not very sure im ready for it.
Well, sometimes, there's more to the pile of unfinished holiday assignments lying next to me that ive got to sort out.

Guess what? Its 1am and Im up with Shobah doing geography homework! Gosh, i just can't describe to you how much i have missed 06A05 and how excited i am to see all of them on Wednesday.

New beginnings ...

2006-12-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving tomorrow for the highlands of msia and i'm not exactly looking forward to it but i'm just glad that there'll be enough time for me( i hope!) to actually journal and think things through.

Hmm...

Goodbye!

2006-12-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

He makes all things beautiful, in His time (:

Stay with me, rain...

2006-11-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

Each time i recall that i have a blog, i'll come here to type something short. (:
Today's one of those days...

Found an email lying on the table today and it was an article on
How To Have Intimacy With God.

We must spend sufficient time with God alone
We need to give reading and meditation of the Scripture high priority
We must speak to God openly and hold nothing back

Hold nothing back...

What does it really mean ?
To me, holding nothing back would mean telling God our deepest secrets and concerns and expressing both positive and negative emotions to Him while trusting in God's love for us.
Yes of course, God knows what is in our hearts but we must learn to talk to Him transparently and surrender all that is close to your heart to Him.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm playing a game of tug-of-war with my heavenly father.
There seems to be many things that I love to take control of and not to hand it over to God and let Him handle it for me, but of late, I know He is telling me:

My child, trust me and let go.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For i know the plans i have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will come to me and i will listen to you.You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.I will be found by you"

At every different season of my life, God has told me to let go of several things. Sometimes, the process was painful and no doubt, I questioned God alot. But know something,

God never ever shortchange us and trust me, everytime He breaks us, it breaks His heart to see us cry too and that is something we are blinded to everytime we are in pain.
I'm just very very thankful that he never leaves us in our shards. God heals, moulds and never fails to restore us back.

"The world tells us, the only constant thing in this world is change,
but i believe that for me, the only constant thing in this world... is my God. My big big God."

even now.

2006-10-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

The swirly candy finally broke into two today.

Why?

2006-07-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

Its always easier to cross rough patches in life,

when you know that God's working something out for you.

Faith believe.

2006-07-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

`waiting is the absence of action and the presence of faith*

Soon, all these will fade away and once again I believe I will look back and praise You.
Let me struggle and know You a little bit more through this season of change.
God, I hope what I want, is what You want for me.
Now i lay them all down at your feet...

This i surrender:
a broken and contrite heart.

2006-07-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's funny when you find yourself

Looking from the outside

I'm standing here

but all I want

Is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe

Miracles could happen

Cause now I have to pretend

That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale

A dream when I'm not sleeping

A wish upon a star

Thats coming true

But everybody else could tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody

That I heard you singing

And when you smiled

You made me feel

Like I could sing along

But then you went and changed the words

Now my heart is empty

I'm only left with used-to-be's

Once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale

And dreams were meant for sleeping

And wishes on a star

Just don't come true

Cause now even I tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

Cause I liked the view

When there was me and you

I can't believe that

I could be so blind

It's like you were floating

While I was falling

And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view

Thought you felt it too

When there was me and you.

*High school musical*

with much love,
valery.

2006-07-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

THIS IS RANDOMNESS

I was meaning for this place to be shut down since i couldnt get a picture up. I really suck at this HTML stuff luh. But i feel like posting up something today, so yea! Here i am! -randomness.

I dont know what i'm doing online now since there is a paper tomorrow.
I'm really drained and the fever is not going away, at all. Ugh!
Shall read up on 1984 tomorrow morning before i head to school.

WHOO HOO! oral's over!THANK GOD! like what hannah said, we dont have to speak chinese for the rest of our lives anymore. man, unless i migrate to China and settle down there. oh rubbish, what am i talking about.

So I lay my head back down,

and I lift my hands and pray

to be only yours I pray

to be only yours.

I know now you're my only hope.

I'm giving it back.

I'll bleed no poetry

Fishcake

Yellow Fish

2006-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

sand dunes.

2006-02-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

Let's Part Ways

School was terrific today man!
It was the ever first time i paid
FULL attention in math tutorial
I did those funny queer looking sums
I was even chosen to go up to do a sum!
All thanks do Darren's answer sheet!

06a3 was the only class with nearly FULL ATTENDANCE!
Christopher taught Ashikin and I
some wriggly wriggly hand signs today
and and May and Chloe taught us Cheering!
(well, since they're cheeeeeeeerrrleaders)
Home tutorials are getting so exciting
especially with Ms Nora.

Well, many of the people in MI are slowly starting to withdraw and there are lesser and lesser people going for lectures. I'll be missing all of you ya!
Now, I can't bear to leave my class.. and the nice canteen food. NASI BRIYANI and paddle pop icecreams Kengliang buys me!!!

Now faith is to be sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1)

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirtsy, give him water to drink, In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head and the Lord will reward you. (Prov 25: 21-22)

*Just a little slower...

2006-01-13T04:55:00.000-08:00

what a colourful life we have . though it may not be colourful at times its still colourful at times .on the whole ,life is rather colourful ( tts what u call an understatement ) . it should be : on the whole life is very colourful !

how boring life would be colourlessl;in black and white .
tts why God in his ultimate gave us three light sensitive conical receptors which can be found in our eyes . which is actually part of the retina .

tts why we must thank God for colourful vision. Praise Him !

2006-01-08T06:41:00.000-08:00

One More Chance

2006-01-07T03:51:00.000-08:00

lalalala

im a happy girl

lalalala

im not a sad girl

lalalala

im sososo happy

why why ?

cause i have God living in me

yay!

2006-01-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder where's the least unkept and the dirtiest place/ thing in your house?

I've found the answer today, and that would be....

Our Vacuum Cleaners!

We often clean up our entire house, and neglect the one that does the job.

:)

2005-12-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

*Ting ru and Li Ren*

Last christmas

I gave you my heart

But the very next day

you gave it away

This year

To save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

2005-12-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

I really really can't wait to be a mummy!

Im serious!

Whoa! I wonder who can identify with me man.

That heart warming feeling when your little boy/ girl runs to you after his !splash! about the playground.

him, drinking out of the water bottle and you, wiping off the sweat on his forehead...
(despite the beads of perspiration, he still smells so sweet)

boy, all the hide and seek and catching, was worth it all.

awww. I love asher!

2005-12-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

my little bundles of joy! melts.

Terri Terri Terri!

I know abel wont agree with me, but yes, asher's undoubtedly adorable!

2005-12-13T16:46:00.000-08:00

*Forgiveness is man's deepest need and God's greatest achievement.

It always takes courage to forgive. Dont wait until you feel like forgiving to forgive because you never will. I never feel like for forgiving. I usually feel like yelling and hitting, or withdrawing and giving up on the whole situation. However, forgiveness doesnt come out of my feelings; it comes out of will. That's one i've got to choose.

I have to say, when someone hurts me or lies about me, what i want to do is to bless that person with a brick! But i have learned that for my life to move forward unhindered, i must be a forgiver.

The truth is, i have been forgiven much... by my Creator when i have made stupid choices... by my family when i have let them down... by my friends when i have said the wrong thing. So, who am i to hold on to unforgiveness when i have been so forgiven? =)

We need to be willing to forgive when someone makes a mistake, says something she shouldn't,(that is usually my mistake!) forgets to call us back(okay, ive done that too!), is late for the appointment(oops!guilty again), doesnt respond the way we think she should.
Offering forgiveness doesn't mean pretending the mistake didnt happen, it means acknowledging it and moving on.

Don't just open your heart again to be hurt if you have not talked about what went wrong. Offering forgiveness means letting go of the offense whether or not the other person says" i'm sorry". Of course, we all need to be willing to say we're sorry. In fact, go ahead and be the first, but don't wait to start forgiving until the other person says she's sorry too. If you wait for an apology before you begin to forgive, you are putting the power to forgive in the other person's hands when it actually belongs to you!

Relationships grow on forgiveness, not perfection. Offenses are going to come, so be ready to forgive.

Forgiveness isn't just a nice thing to do, i believe it is also a life and death issue.
I remember talking with a man who had a life-threatening illness. This very ill man was extremely angry with someone who owed him three hundred dollars. It didnt appear he was going to get that sum of money back, and he was furious, shaking his fists and going red in the face. When i suggested that he go ahead and forgive the debt and the debtor since it didnt look as if he was going to be paid back, he became more angry. Should the debtor have paid his debts? ABSOULTELY! did the lender deserved to get his money back? YES! was it worth his life? This time- i dont think so. I believe it was the bitterness inside him that was killing him.
Remember, dont let unforgiveness eat your insides up!

Forgiveness takes courage and can be difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered.(oh sometimes, we just wont admit it, but we do!)We want God to bless the offenders with a lightning bolt.
You may ask, "why should i let them off the hook?" thats the problem! : as long as you are holding back unforgiveness, you are hooked! Or you may say," you dont understand how much they hurt me!" But dont you see? they are still hurting you. you are living the betrayal, the offense, whatever the crime. You dont forgive the other person for his sake , you do it for your own sake, so that you can be free... free to love, free to be at peace, free to enjoy the day without being eaten up inside.

Being forgiving is not necessarily forgetting. If someone has hurt me, i'm going to choose to forgive, but i will not just immediately open up my heart again. I might give him/her a piece of my heart, to see if they can be trusted with that. Thats when guarding your heart comes in! :)

Jesus, king of forgiveness, told us that in the same way we forgive, we will be forgiven. Im pretty sure i am not finished making mistakes, so if i want forgiveness, i had better be quick to forgive.I seriously don't want to become a little old lady so full of bitterness that i drag it around!

I wonder if most hospitals- psychological and medical would be practically emptied if people could truely forgive... themselves for the crimes they commited and others for what was perpetrated against them.

I wonder whether most wars and other injustices would cease if we all could truely forgive.
Just a thought.

I forgive you.

These are one of the biggest lessons i've learnt, in the midst of reading Holly Wagner's book: God Chicks.
Thought i'd just shared it here! =)

2005-12-12T06:31:00.000-08:00

Learning to breathe

Hello, good morning, how You do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way that i say i need You
This is the way
This is the way that i'm

Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how You been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought thatI would fall like that
Never knew that i could hurt this bad

So this is the way that i say i need You
This is the way that i say i love You
This is the way that i say i'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way.

-A walk to remember.

2005-11-30T01:37:00.000-08:00

First, you put a penny into the slot

Next, you select the players

After that, the game begins...

Not long after, he knocks her over

K.O - the Game's over

and thats how it all went.

2005-11-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

It was only just, when i realise why i dare'nt listen to that song any more.

Take my hand and walk.

2005-10-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
It's so hard to see past my fears
My strength seems to fade
And it's all I can do
To hold on, 'til the light reappears

Thank you, girl.

2005-09-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

I know this might have came too late
But I just want to thank you,
`You've taught me much.

You should have gone slower...

I couldn't catch up, and now im lagging behind.

I should have known better than to have held on,
Cause its been too long.
I see ya progressing fine,

So its my turn.

This time, Watch me.

2005-08-29T05:57:00.002-07:00

Men make history, but we make men.

Every winter, pretty snowflakes descend from heaven. They seemed to extend their warmth and love down to Mankind. That was what many children called christmas. I used to imagine myself as the knight in shining armour, rescuing my fairlady and the innocent people of the world, from the Evil one.

But, on that fateful winter night, I found myself, out in the cold, as part of the Evil forces.

They were unarmed incapacitated russian children! Why did all of you have to lie and tricked us into such a despicable act? Shameless prevaricator! All they tried to do was to run away from danger, into the forest. I never expected such brutal acts from you, Generals.
I tried to cease the bleeding, I tried to sew up the wound, but to no avail.
Then, of all people, my father came.He dragged me away and took the boy's last breath away with a shot of the pistol. Where art thine conscience, respected one?
-Winter landscapes in Germanic sagas.

I reckon if Albertsch would been given a chance to write a poem,just before he died, this could be what he might have penned down.

Innocent blood shed, on my hands.
Doings that were never mine.
Guilt inflicts me down to my chest
Its time to clear this utter mess.
So regrets not, this i decide,
Beneath this slab of ice, i shall die.

Heartwrenching, thought provoking, tear jerking.
Here's Napola for you.

2005-08-26T01:45:00.000-07:00

The fountains mingle with the river,

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix forever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle;--

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven,

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;

What are are these kissings worth.

When you're nonexistent.

2005-08-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Charlie: You're husband was in the tail section of the plane.

Rose: Yes, he was. But he'll be back.

Charlie: You think he's still alive?

Rose: I know he is.

Charlie: How?

Rose: I just do. It's a fine line between denial and faith. It's much better on my side.

LOST.
This time, i want the truth. Just this once.
-Jack.

2005-08-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Stumbled.
Triggered.
Silenced
Lingered.
Stung.

*Take Your Pick, Child.

2005-08-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCIILE.

URE FIFTEEN!!!!!!!

2005-08-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

The shimmering green of peridots...
The bewitching blue of sapphires...
The mesmirising red of garnets...

Life is beautiful.

2005-07-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

Silence begins to drag on my soul.
Its a kind of waiting
which hears no voice, no footstep
sees no sign.

I asked the heaven of stars
What I should give my love--
It answered me with silence
Silence above.

I asked the darkened sea
Down where the fishes go--
It answered me with silence
Silence below.

Oh, i could give him weeping,
Or i could give him a song--
But how can I give silence
My whole life long?

Lord, Direct me,
Be my Leuchtturm.

2005-07-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

intentional?
I don't know.

deleterious?
I don't speak.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

2005-06-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Let this goodbye of ours,
This last goodbye,
Be still and splendid
Like a forest tree...
Let there be one grand look
Within our eyes,
Built of the wonderment
Of the past months,
Too vast a thing of beauty to be lost,
In quivering lips
And burning floods of tears.

At least Jim hadn't seen the quivering lips or the tears. After we shook hands, (clapsed hands would be more accurate), he stood there while i walked down the platform, almost the whole length of the train, to the car where my seat was. i waved to him in the distance as i boarded.
-Passion and purity. Elizabeth Elliot.

How timely. =)
Lord, wont You take your place on the throne of my heart once again?
I love You.

2005-06-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

Picture this with me for a moment, wont you?

Imagine this petite looking boy, about the age of three, sitting at the corner of one of the walls in Cold Storage, munching happily away on his biscuit.
Suddenly,a teenager walked past him and knock the biscuit out of his hands, because she was complacently swinging her handbag and she absolutely took no notice of him
It fell out of his hands, unto the ground and it broke. Despite the fact that the biscuit was dirtied and part of it chipped, he picked it up and continue eating it.
Guilt overwhelmed her when she saw what had just happened and she apologised to the boy and his mother and gave him a bar of chocolate. He beamed at her and his eyes shone into hers and it seemed to say: " Thank you for the chocolate but its alrights, its just a biscuit.=)"

See? thats the thing with little children. Despite how bad the situation they're in, they would still pick themselves up from where they were left at and carry on with such joy.They never seem to bear a grudge against people who hurt them and the fact that they always see things in such positive light,THAT amazes me.
Angels, thats what i call them.

Imagine how the little boy might had felt when he saw his biscuit smashed against the ceramic floor?
Could she have just smashed his favourite snack?Did she ever thought about it?
Why didnt she even care to look where she was going?
Was the bar of chocolate given to the little boy because she just wanted to soothe her conscience?

You might think that i must be out of my mind to be blogging about such a minor issue that happened and im reading too much into things.
Come to think of it, i might be...
but things are different,
When ure the girl.
The meanie.

Yes, i was the one.
So what do you think of me now.
Don't i deserve a death sentence?
AH! vera, ure so horrid.

It was unintentional yet, it strike me so hard.
I could still remember the little boy's facial expression.
Gosh.
This happened just an hour ago and although it seem so small an issue, ive still managed to get a lesson out of it.=)

Its time, i choose forgiveness and let go.

2005-06-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

"Whats on your mind now, sweetie?"
-Vera.
"I'm wondering when this roof will collapse on me and squash me."
-Anne.

haha,it makes me wonder if all little girls have such silly thoughts running through their heads all the time.=)

Okay!
I was at Anne's [Uncle Alfred's daughter] house just now.Man, did i enjoy myself=)
A quarter of my time was spent reading bible stories, singing nursery ryhmes and playing games with her on her bed. Gosh, you should have seen her bed. Its that kind of bed every little princess dreams to have. Beams. I could actually fit into it with her okay! Im that vertically challenged. Darn.

At the head of her bed, there was a window.. the kind which you can actually stick your head in and out of and yes, thats where she places her quiet time material with a small little lamp. awwr, she's so adorable. Really encouraged to see how discipline she is to do Qt everyday, come on!she's at the tender age of four and she's already making a point to start and end her day with a memory verse!=) reminds me of my sunday school days.
Oh yes, and three quarter of my time was spent answering her questions about Jesus and the issues on Love. I didnt know how Anne could actually win lucille, but i think she did.
She asked so much that sometimes, it seems like there's so much in Anne's mind that any teenager can ever fathom.Very deep. Her innocence and her childlike faith leaves me in awe and it spurs me to want to be like her. Man, i love her! Oh ya, did i mention that she listens to my MP3 and goes: "Does she knows how much Jesus loves her? I cant tell her, cant i? Do you think she would be able to understand me?but i cant speak chinese!" [yes, it was a chinese singer, she was talking aboout] OH ANNIE! =)

Had a stayover at joanne's place with lucille yesterday night after a dinner with beryl,yongling,joanne and lucille.
I miss sarah and nat too. -screams-

The three of us, were real, last night. We werent BEING real, we were real...If you get what i mean and know where im coming from!Cant help but give thanks for the both of you, joanne and lucille. It was a great time of:
*Confession
*Elimination [SMS=)]
*Reminiscing
*Reflecting
*Sharing

`Waiting is the hardest work of hope. We often wait in fear for a happy ending we cant write.
-ALAS! i can delete it from my archives!

2005-06-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Bare heights of loneliness
A wilderness whose burning winds
sweep over glowing sands
What are they to Him?
Even there, He can refresh us
Even there, he can renew us
Amen.

Im still under construction, and ever in the process of being renewed and change despite the fact that ive returned from retreat!=)*waves!!*
Really enjoyed myself over there in malaysia and yes, i dare say that im ready for school, all spiritually recharged and haha, seems like i just went through some renovation...ordered my inner life and really really, i cant wait to see what Daddy has in store for me!

So often, i tell myself that the right thing to do would be to surrender and leave everything at His altar, but so many times, i falter and question myself: *what is to be done with the ashes?what would happen to them?*i hold back and doubt ..and this proves one thing.
Its faith i lack.

Been learning so much about the art of waiting on God.

Wordweb's definition of waiting:
The act of waiting (remaining inactive in one place while expecting something)

God's definition of waiting:
Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up:
obedience, that is one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

Heh! never expected that a simple word: waiting, could have such a different yet detailed elaboration if taken from the Bible yeh?=)
Yes, Such arduous work of waiting.

The *holding pattern* seems to describe a very important aspect of waiting on God. Most of us who travel by air would have experienced this. The flight is nearly over, the plane has begun its descenttoward the city of destination when you feel it pull up again,bank, and begin to circle. An announcement comes over the intercom * Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.Due to heavy incoming traffic, the tower has assigned us a holding pattern*
People groan. Babies cry. You look out and see the same scenary you saw 15 minutes earlier. You think of the person at the airport waiting for you. You look at your watch and try to figure what will happen if you dont make your connection or appointment. You hope the captain will tell you exactly how long it will be before landing. How long is this circling going to go on...

Questions we often lashed.
Thats the problem with us. Sometimes, we get too impatient and question so much that we dont stop and bask in God's love and just wait. We push for answers instead of waiting on Him, seeking what God wants...

i reckon that at this very moment, you're aching to slap this entry with another question..ya?

"How long, Lord, must i wait....?"
"Never mind, Child. Trust me."

beams.=)
Truly my heart waits silently for God;
my delieverance comes from Him
In truth He is my rock of delieverance
My tower of strength, so that i stand unshaken...
Trust always in God for He's your shelter.

2005-05-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

You're ever faithful.

The fact that i can sit here at 545am, typing out this Psalm into my blog, clearly shows me that Daddy,You're my source of Peace and Strength.I thank You for all that You've done.(=

Psalms 30 -30th may 2005
-a psalm, a song. of David.

I will exalt you, O Lord
For you lifted me out of the depths
And did not let my enemies gloat over me
O Lord my God, I called to you for help
And you healed me.
O Lord, you brought me up from the grave;
You spared me from going down into the pit

Sing to the Lord, you saints of His;
Praise His holy name.
For his anger only lasts for a moment,
But His favour Lasts a lifetime;
Weeping may remain for a night,
But rejoicing comes in the morning.

When i felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken"
O Lord, when you favoured me,
You made my mountain stand firm;
but when You hid your face,
I was dismayed.

To you, O Lord, I called;
To the Lord I cried for mercy:
"What gain is there in my destruction,
In my going down into the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear O Lord, and be merciful to me;
O Lord, be my help."

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
That my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever.

What a beautiful Psalm! How assuring and comforting.
Im praying fervently for all of you. I really am.
Take courage and do not fear, because the Lord watches over you.He'll surround His many angels around you and i believe each and everyone of you, will shine. =)

2005-04-03T04:31:00.000-07:00

its been months. things have indeed taken a different route. a route that i never once expected. unexpected like you said. yehh.. but yup, like the phrase goes, * the highest virtue of love, is the ability to let someone go.*so true, but why does it always seem like the hardest thing to do?Despite those unexpected changes, ive still kept my promise, till the very end. i was there.silently by your side. ive kept that very last promise i made and yehh... its goodbye to you once again.=) final decision after the tenth day: silence.

Aim of the Girls' brigade.*
to help girls become followers of the Lord Jesus Christ and through self control, reverance and a sense of responsibility to find enrichment of life.

Ironies after ironies.
Questions lashed at me.
Ure the one with those answers.
Give them to me i plea.
If only u would break this silence.
3 months of pretense
Slapped backed into harsh reality.
All spite and anger
All tears and heartbreak
Having faded into a semblance of a dream.
bei*

am at joanne's house now. im in love with her.believe me.=)

2005-03-22T06:15:00.000-08:00

You have just shattered
the world's most fragile heart.
Believe me.

2005-03-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

Like parallel lines//
We'll never cross each other
Maybe its really time i took my leave.=)
Returning the key back to where it once belongs
Into Your hands, i commit again.

Goodbye to you* bei
-michelle branch

Of all the things i've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But i do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.
I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
Words that i'm hearin' are starting to get old,
It feels like i'm starting all over again,
The last three months were just pretend,
And i say-

*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.
I still get lost in your eyes,
And it seems that i can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes,
And you chase my thoughts away,
To a place where i am blinded by the light,
But it's not right.

*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.
Hold on to...

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and i want what's mine,
I want you,And i'm not giving in this time.
*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to-

[Repeat chorus*]
Oh, oh woah,And when the stars fall i will lie awake,You're my shooting star.

2005-03-14T02:40:00.000-08:00

saturated with emotions.
inundated with work.
engulfed with fear.
killmymemories.

Once again, im on a quest to search for you...Daddy...my only life support~*

I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have
To keep me hanging on
-michelle branch.[All you wanted]

2005-03-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

-Self sacrificial love is the sweetest.

Dear daddy,
*I believe that you choose to let everything happen for a reason.
*I believe that you love each and every child of yours very much.
*I believe that you will always let me hide under the shelter of your wings.
*I believe that you're still here with me even at times when i cant find you.
*I believe that you know and will see me through every storm.
*I believe that you have your reasons for not intervening.

Even if ure losing everything...will you still acknowledge God as your heavenly father and keep having that strong faith?

cos, despite all thats knocking me over...Ive still chose to believe in Him and abide.

2005-02-26T01:36:00.000-08:00

You knew you cudnt keep them
So why in the first place make them
Now u've broke them all
Rejoice you are
Agonised I am
Its been absolute hogwash
Period.

-Sometimes, promises are better left unsaid*
p/s: kyler, i guess this is what u mean by telepathy.Ngoh lam tong ley lum yat yong.cries!
Invitation to all 4E1 girls.
heyy sweets, gonna organise some special activity for all of ya real soon.For the time being, i just wanna check if everyone agrees to it before i carry it out. yehhs..am looking forward to it though.*swirls ard*~~~~saya sayangkan awak.

Dear heavenly father, i want to commit every single girl in 4E1.Teach us to keep that faith and to just help each other through these trying moments. Lord, always remind them that the things that cant break them, will cause them to become stronger. We need you Jesus, certain things just seem to incomprehensible and we need ya to show us the answer. Through this, mould us into girls who will always make a differenece in other people's life and to shine in our own way!Teach us to control our thoughts and to surrender every little hurt and pain to you. In Jesus name i pray, Amen.=)
I believe that Daddy will see all of us through...yeh.'05

2005-02-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

It is only when u get down on your knees and pray, thats the time when the holy spirit manifests the greatest*=)
Im praying fervently for all of you out there!

As i lay down on my bed yesterday night, many things went through my mind and i began giving serious thought to each one of them and i prayed. Despite how heavily burdened i have been feeling lately, last night just seemed so different after i read what lucille posted on our blog.One part that really woke me up was the part which says:
*If we dont stop dwelling in our sadness, it will just start to become a cycle if we allow negative thoughts to flow through our minds constantly.Feeling upset and letting people affect our thoughts is just not right.i'm not saying that you can't be feeling sad. i'm saying once you've cried, journalled, prayed and commit it to our father, it's time to get back on your feet and continue glorifying Him.*
I was really encouraged and i just felt like God was telling me to get back up on my feet and get things right once again, esp after joanne affirmed me.=)
It was only till last night that i was able to see things in such a positive light again.Guess what i did next before i turned in?
YUPS! i mass messaged the whole of my class girls[except manda-cos i didnt have her number!=( and kiran cos she doesnt have her fone with her?yehhs.] and told them just how much i miss not seeing all of them in schooL ytd and how badly i needed to get back to class!spent like 45 mins typing and messaging all of them before i headed into dreamland~~yehhs!hmms...just realised that 4E1 girls are all such PIGS la!!!!!!none of you replied me except shuying and charis...i mean,come on!im sick and i slept later then all of you!!!FAINTS.it was only ten mins to midnight?guess biology class really got you girls hyped up during the afternoon ahh?=)laughs.

Lolipops used to mean a world to me...like how much i use to love them, but i still remember that fateful day, when i threw that particular one right into the bin. i was bitter and i just felt like i cudnt stand the taste of it anymore.It was only until today, that i grabbed the whole box of lollies that ive kept and have not touched for ages and brought it to school, with some chocolates. Its been almost a month, and u shud have seen the number of lolipops i had with me..man,i cud prolly open up a candy store lah! once again, i wanna thk God for blessing me with the many people who tries to sweeten up my day with many candies.i wanna tell you that uve been sucessful and im really happy!=)
alrights...so i entered class and i was so amazed to see the area ard me sparkle! i mean there wasnt balloons and signs saying *WELCOME BACK VERA* la...but the place i was sitting at, just seemed so lovely cos it was spick and span, and my table was cleared. The books underneath my table were neatly arranged! and there was absolutely NO LITTER. i mean, u can never find that kind of *scenary* ard my area with khairul and ahravin sitting behind me i tell ya...GOSH! i was dumbfounded.i shot J LOW that look and just by looking at me, she knew what i was trying to ask her... she gave me her usual sweet little smile and said: yups!i did it for ya!man...i was so touched. was planning to come back to school and have all my things packed up..hmms, guess i dun have to do it anymore yehs?xie xie ni jie ling!=)
Wonder what kiki and sherry told me was true!hee..u girls were actually having ice coffee in remembrance of me at vista ytd?awwrr...how sweet la!come on!depression because of me?
amn i suppose to believe ya?
I distributed out the lollies to the girls and the chocolates to the guys!!To me, Lolipops represents Love and it was really such a joy to see that smile on all of their faces when we exchanged hugs and when i gave them their lollies...I guess, through this small act of giving, ive found greater JOY. Cos i mean, why keep all the loliies to yourself rights?By giving each girl a lolipop today, it meant that i really love them and they meant a world to me. cant imagine life without all of you..i nearly died at home ytd lahs..was so bored!it was a good thing that Joanne called. hee!ure still the best wEeeEI-PinG!
Through these two years...ive seen all of us, growing and changing as a class, especially the girls and we've really bonded sooo much and sometimes, it pains me to noe that after this year,we'll go separate ways and the chances of meeting up again is so slim. still remember telling some of you how nice it'll be to be able to attend lessons together till the day we all get married and have kids![like kids running ard the class with us?]i noe its really silly lahs..but man..sometimes i just wish we didnt have to part!urghs.seen you girls been through nearly every emotion and feeling one can ever experienced.from the clicks we used to hang out with, we're now bonded as one whole class and everyone just seems to understand everyone sometimes.=)
Headed down for assembly and man..i got breakfast done by jesslyn. i mean it was only a cake but it was really sweet of her to remember me.thks jesslyn!haha..sat with amanda and chatted with her abt the full moon and pasta* LOL. yehs,it was really good catch up time and she gave me post stick pads again. they were all of different patterns and all of them were of disney princesses!beams. Rach and sherry gave me more lollies, but andrew took one of them away lahs!hmpffS! he always does these things to annoy me...haha!but who ask him to be TWO heads taller then me?im afraid of him trampling over me like a pathetic ant okiez?heex!class was fun...throwing cheeseballs and haha!i finally broke my *lolipop-fast* and ate a green apple one!wheee!it tasted like honey comb, not like the one i had last time, but still, it was sweet enough.YaY!Mdm wan, my chinese teacher even gave me a coffee lolipop!!haha, man.. it wasnt "chupuchup"[how do u spell it?=D] so it didnt tasted as right..but it was okie...i cud pull out the stick frm the lollie lahs!...hee!ok, guess what? Joel stole a lolipop frm me okie..charis!its the flavour u like alrights...PEACH! yehs, he said he stole it from me during assembly, but i cudnt get it back cos he was again, one head taller and he might just pull out all of my hair if i snatched it back..haha!so i blessed him with one!
At the end of the day.. the whole classroom was filled with sweet and chocolate wrappers.i hope mr than doesnt kill us lahs.Mrs Devan[BIO!!!] even asked me how come i had so many lolipops to give out.o0o0psIE! anyways...today was one of the most beautiful days i had and i really want to thank you all for the INDESCRIBABLE amounts of TLC uve showered upon me and okie...i promise to be the *candy grandma* of 4E1 from now ons kies?this shop will be entitled to only all 4E1-ians.yups!hee...as im writting this entry, im still laughing at the smses you girls sent to Mr Ng la...i bet he's traumitised!awwr...Oh ya! est and jesslyn...i typed out that letter specially for u two ahh.. and i was sick okies?aint u touch?u better be ahhhh!!=)hmmms...one more thing, really want to thank you guys for writting beautiful letters and stories to me about the world's prettiest things. and haha, cant wait to show everyone the lolipop stories you guys wrote for me.melts, am blessed to have you all.
So many things happened today so i simply cant write everything down. promised u guys to blog ya?so im doing it now !man...guess this is my last entry bloggin abt my day to day life...i really dunch like doing it, but since today was soooo special to me, i'l make it an exception!!!sherry!remember the style of bloggin we used to laugh abt?my gosh, it was hilarious!haa, i cant blog anymore...really tired really really am!!! OH wait, 8-23 ahravin and Nasri...i love both of yer jerseys,it has me on it!no wonder you guys can wrk so well together...hee!vera supprts you both!LOL.
*im really sorry to those who have been reading my entry and not knowing what's going on.haha, u noe why?cos ure not a 4E1-ian.laughs.was telling meli to join our class for one day, to see how thrilling it'll be!man..if i were to write out the number of amusing stories that happens in our class and compile it into a book, i guess it'll sell like hotcakes, even faster then JK rowling's ones...[MRS CHONG!]*

Joanne...i need to see you tmr, get your hair cut by the hairdresser underneath my block.PERIOD.love ya princess!

Its been more than those 72 hrs that i used to anticipate your return.Like a little girl, im still waiting.
Daddy, tell me how u want me to take the next step. I want to do things your way this time, not mine.Its not all about me Jesus.=)

byrside,
vera

2005-02-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

Because im a girl.=)

Love dancing.helps to rid everything's thats clouding my mind.wow! feels good to be able to express myself once again on the dance floor.beams.cant wait for tuesday's class!
Gonna be so busy this week.fearing tomorrow sooooooooo much. dental's gonna hurt so badly.and having to go there alone just adds to it.man,just when can i get these metal off my teeth?faints.

These are some girls who have impacted my life so much all this while.Thank you princesses!
*If you dont see the stars twinkle at night, it doesn't mean that they are not there.They're just hidden behind the clouds and you will surely see them shine again.*
This phrase, so coincidentally, was printed on the card yongling gave me today.yups, i believe that stars dont lose their twinkle forever, they will always be shining for each and everyone of you, even at times, when u dont see them.thks ling*er.

*A time to tear and a time to mend.A time to be silent and a time to speak*
Yehs...so true.smiles. there's always a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. thks lulu for yr card today too, the words on it were meaningful...hee!great time sharing with you girl after church..*they're friends. oh!no wonder!*

*shopping buddies.*
yehs..joanne. thks for yr -shopping buddy- card u got me ytd..and the chocolates.really sweet of ya.its been nice to be able to chat with u daily even though we've been both so busy and thks for comforting me today. thks for always being a blessing to me despite your fatigue and having to cope with so much wrk. love you to bits princess.muruku no more, but Jesus always there!*nods head*

*princess lollie?* awww...no!im no princess, teresa!=)
thank you for yr beautiful valentine day card terreeeeeessaa! it was fun being on the train with you yesterday. LOL.all the way to CCK?OH YEH! uve been always the little girl that brightens up my day with smses to tell me how much u care and miss me!man...i just admire how much energy that always fills you.smiles.

*NO rings on yr fingers!!* shin yi and ting ru....=)
my partner in crime during chinese lessons. thks for yr card and stickers girL.really brightened my 14th of February. hmmms...having to spend recess with you occasionally just adds so much more colors into my life, meli. man..without u during chinese class, i'll probably die la cos chinese always kills me..grrrr! xie xie ni shin yi.wo ai ni!!

*4E1 girls are stronger than they LOOK*
man...been getting to noe each and everyone of you even more these days and hmms, ive learnt so much from you guys and im really thankful that u girls are so strong. keep smiling and bringing JOY into everyone lives. i believe that we'll come out together as a class, stronger and closer!*HUGS*
hmmmmmms.....because we are girls, thats why we write cards for each other.because we are girls, thats why we can spend hours talking to each other on the phone. beacause we are girls, thats why we share openly and cry on each other shoulders if there's a need too.because we are girls, thats why we tend to be more emotional.
Its been nice being a girl and im happy to be one!Thank you Jesus.
Occasional tears and set backs, but i believe that Daddy's shoulder with always be there for us to cry on. Be strong yet vulnerable before Him darlings...Have a blessed week.beams.remember, what cant break you will serve to make u stronger.

If ure a girl, this post is SPECAILLY for you!Vera loves you sooooo much yehs?God made you specially to be a girl, so stay happy as one ya?Hang in there and keep seeking Him k. Keep that smile and shine!You are beautiful in His eyes.*nods head nods head*

2005-02-17T00:27:00.000-08:00

Her melancholic smile.yehhs.=)

Despite the hectic schedules i face everyday, there's this tranquilty that still surrounds me always.Ran and played so hard during PE tt day, just wishing to rid everything's tts on my mind.man...Vera Chua finally SWEAT![i mean, i dun usually sweat lah]laughs.*ultimAte friiiiSsssbeee*4/1's really good at it!LOL.
Its been really good, catching up with different people, both from school and in church.
I dont usually like blogging about ,my day to day life. but today, i want to share with everyone the beautiful day i had with my heavenly father on valentine's day.beams.=)

It was just another day for me, on fourteenth feburary. yehhs, valentine's day. Didnt bring out my wallet so i was peniless.*o0o0PSieee*.But God sent Jireh!And he treated me to lunch and recess...man, recess food was cold and bland, didnt actually like it, but hmms.. the people around me made everything seem right once again.yehhs...=) haha.
Left school after social studies remedial and headed to causeway for lunch wit....a bunch of wonderful people. Mr and Mrs Carebear,Mr Csm,Kiki and Ling.They wanted to catch a movie... but i decided not to join them and guess where i headed to? YUPS. i went for a personal retreat with Jesus. oh yehhs...just sat at MMJD alone. Journalling and telling Him all the fears thats within me. Pouring everything out right there. I had the whole place to myself, it was really serene and calm. While everyone was with everyone else, i just sat there, me and Jesus, thanking him for all the things that He has done for me. I didnt regret going there, because that place means so much to me. Was spending time with joanne on the phone too...just laughing about how silly we were in school and HAHA!also, about how much i missed her! Thanks girl.
The place was so big...and not a single soul was there[except the scarweee old man.laughs]walked all over the place looking for a nice spot to sit at and i chose my third pillar*=)...i really enjoyed the moments when i was alone that day, cause He spoke and all i did, was sit and listen.it was indeed a humbling moment.Ended the day in church beneath the stars that were shining so brightly! Didnt expect my valentine's day this year to turn out this way..but overall i had a great time.

A little girl's poem__________*
My nose,
touched something hard and cold.
I blew unto it,
mist formed.
And it appeared to me i was outside a candy store.
The insides shone like gold.
Was candy supposed to shine?
Peering into the abyss of the store,
i saw many more.
In the deepest corner,
i saw something.
It was a lollipop.
Whirly twirly and shaped like a full moon.
My hand reached into my pocket,
and out came two pennies.
But the shop was closed.
Ending all hopes even before i could reach the edge of it.

*Love is patient,Love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude,It is not self seeking,It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects,always trusts,always hopes,always perseveres.Love never fails.*
1 Cor 13:4-8
I know God's speaking me to me alot through thess verses recently. Been stumbling upon it so often.It was even on the poster i and charis bought, after seeing it on Jenny madm's table.=) Quiet time last night also focused on these verses. Pastor Ivan's message was also about love last sunday. Valentine's day has just past..and ya! once again, im learning how i should continue to step out of my comfort zone and just reach out to other people. Im beginning to see the importance of my friends knowing how much Jesus loves them and yehs, i agree with athena and shuying...this verse is beautiful.beams.
Deep down in me, im feeling exhausted...but i still want to encourage all of you out there, that Jesus cares and wants to help you thru every storm you face, if only u were to let Him bring you through~*

Dreams are the nicest things one can ever have. They're beautiful but most of the time, they aint real. Certain dreams make u wake up smiling, but that smile on your face will soon be wiped out when u realised ure back in reality and everything tt u dreamt of probably aint real at all. Then, tears may stream down yr face instead.Still remembered the dream u told me abt, yes, it was beautiful, wished it was real,wish it'll come true... I want to have everything re-enacted again, and to be back in reality.=)

Living in reality is harsh sometimes, but with HIM, all things are possible!

2005-02-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

Its seven fourty in the morning. second day of chinese new year,but that excitement that use to fill me every chinese new year for the past fifteen years doesnt seem to exist anymore. guess its partly due to the fatigue tts in me. its been overwhelming and im tired, even emotionally. been in a state that i reckon no one understands, because i, myself dunch noe why im feeling the way im feeling. Despite all these, God's been good. I still remembered what i encouraged some of my CG members to do last week. To praise and lift His name up high, esp during the times u least feel like it. To me, hearing God is never a chore, its been refreshing and knowing that He's always there has been really comforting.=)

As i stepped out of the car yesterday night, and glanced at what was above me...it brought a smile across my face. The whole sky was literally filled with stars! i still remember what sam said as we sat along the jetty at kongkong. *The harder and longer u stare into the sky, the more stars u'll see, sometimes, they'll get even brighter* i guess its true cos the longer i stared at it, the brighter they shone and it felt like God was telling me something. I was entranced.
Upon arriving home, i rushed into the bathroom, got washed up and i did quiet time by my bedside, where i could clearly see the beautiful stars that were twinkling away. Sudddenly, thoughts ran thru ma' head. As we all learnt in geography, stars only fill the skies when no rain's going to come, and it means that its a fine day, with great weather. sigh, but that also means, if no rain was going to come, no rainbow will appear after the rain stops. Clouds are pretty too! they're all fluffy and by just looking at them everymorning when im down at the parade square during assembly, it brightens my whole day up! But....if clouds were to fill the sky at night, it also means that we cant see the twinkle of the stars once again, because, the clouds will be blocking them. So see? we cant expect to have clouds, rainbows and stars up in the sky at the same time yeh?yups! we cant always have things going our way...we cant always have the best of both worlds, and i have been learning. If i want to choose MY own way and to have things go according to MY way...it will definitely be not the way God wants me to head. Decisions, choices.I guess all of you have been thru a stage where serious decisions have to be made and hey! remember to seek Jesus with all your heart and choose the way He's planned out for you.=)
Alrights, i noe im sounding really dumb, talking about stars, clouds and rainbows eatly in the morning...but to me, these things represent God's love for everyone.Imagine this, God knows every name of the every star he placed up into the sky, what more about u? He noes your deepest hurts and he knows all thats within you, but sometimes, its all up to u, whether u want to surrender everything to him, or to rely on your own strength. This whole issue about surrendering to God my everything has been in me for quite some time. Some yrs back, i surrendered certain things to Jesus. It took me quite some time to give everything back to Him but soon He restored all the hurt tt i was going thru. But as i look back, it pains me being able to remember certain beautiful moments_______*im not even left with memories. but no matter what happens, i will still thk God for bringing me thru that trying period of my life and i'll still choose to praise Him, because i noe that He has everything planned out for me.
LOL. im gonna get changed and set out for another round of visitation.hmmms~i miss joanne.i really do!

Dreams are the nicest things one can ever have. They're beautiful but most of the time, they aint real. Certain dreams make u wake up smiling, but that smile on your face will soon be wiped out when u realised ure back in reality and everything tt u dreamt of probably aint real at all. Then, tears may stream down yr face instead.Still remembered the dream u told me abt, yes, it was beautiful, wished it was real...but i reckon, now since things are this way....it can ever come true. I want to have everything re-enacted again.

2005-02-07T05:36:00.000-08:00

-i dun care if this is gonna hurt, but im going to move on. even if it means having to pick up those broken pieces with my bare hands. i want to find back those twinkling stars which used to light up my gloomy nights and the beautiful rainbow that stretches across the sky after every downpour.

Wow! quite sometimes i haven blogged yehhs?lol, im back im back. =)
so much in me...and i just cant seem to put them down in words...yeahs. its been exhausting yet amazing. Daddy brought new people into my lives, but at the same time, he tooked away some but still im going to hold on to His promise so tightly and im sure that He does these things for a reason. Still learning to be sensitive and attentive to what He has to say to me...yups.
Its so tiring to rely on one's strength sometimes...but all we have to do is to humbly surrender all our deepest hurts to Jesus,be vulnerable before Him and yearn to be in His presence once again. Jesus, ure all i ever wanted, draw me close to you, closer than before.=)
i seem to have very limited things to type today...yehhhs, so im off now! u guys have an enjoyable holiday yups?keeping u guys in prayer~~
oh ya!!thks for all yr lolipops...love it ta bits.

*udunseemytears__________butitdoesntmeanimnotcrying*

2005-02-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful day~
simply love it to bits.
and its all because
i had my impromtu* queen with me!=)
mahjong and muruku unite!

wasmeanttobetogether*______________[butyouunhookeditoff^]

2005-01-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

*You give and take away,but my heart will still choose to say, blessed be your name*=)
-thks Sandra.

Been reflecting so much more, and God's been revealing so many things to me...But sometimes, I just cant seem to comprehend all of them. I love hearing You speak, daddy!Thank you for the many wondrous works You've done in ma' life and no matter what happens, i will still choose to bless your name, forever!
Im still searching for the answer....You bless us abundantly with something, but in no time, You take away~ i know theres a reason for everything tt happens, but why.......
Jesus...i need you. Its been the second time. Relieving the past is such a traumitising experience, encamp your angels ard her...and fill her with comfort.さん, hang in there.

What a pleasant day! Looking back at it, i really enjoyed myself alot. Joanne, thank you for being there. Your method of cheering one up is indeed very very special and unique.LOL!!its been great having to just being able to catch up once again, SEVEN DAYS alrights?its been so long ive seen ya and darling, u look really sweet today lahs...very very pretty!agree with me daniel?hahah!Went to teresa and lulu's concert today at victoria concert hall, it was so cool...really really awesome...teresa shakes pretty well huh?gotta make her do it during CG..wakakkaks! haha..lucille played well and she looked so serios when she was playing..really proud of you girls, especially when i N jo heard yr fans screaming out for u all...so honoured to be your friends darling!
OK! so i watched *shall we dance?* with missy kyler and charis my carebear in the morning after chemistry!=)Left the theatre,with teary eyes. It was so touching and i really did enjoy every single moment of the show. *throw yums yums all over da' couples* -SECRETS. we were the only three students there and besides us, all were adults. The show really ignited my passion for dance once again. Haven been having time to practise those new steps that miss wendy taught...and having to miss dance class because of my FnN course this week, really dampened my mood alot during the week. I wanna go back to those times, when i had more confidence on the dance floor and to just express all that im feeling into the dance. I really dont know whats holding me back...maybe its due to the one-year break i took off from dancing. I cant have the best of both worlds all the time yeahs? yups, tts when we learn to prioritise and place certain things before others i guess!beams. Cant wait to join the girls on tuesday once again...they have been extremely encouraging to me man!hEh!

^Jesus, I want to abandon it all...and have You capture me once again.

2005-01-28T03:38:00.000-08:00

*` You are beautiful beyond description, too marvelluous for words.*

Im on cloud nine!!=) im really happy that Jesus has brought so many people into ma' lives and each of them have really impacted me and helped me grow in my walk with my heavenly father.
Today God gave me a suprise! Henry popped out of nowhere and he shared with me a lot during the few hours we spend together, STUDYING! haha...but it was great! He even treated me to a jelly too yeahs?thks saf! We were having the FnN course together until five plus. shant go into details, but lemme tell you, i was high on adrenaline and i managed to complete all my FnN work, im soooo relieved!Joanne even called me up, exremely glad to hear that she's alive and fine.Sometimes its really such a joy to hear her voice!!=) I decided to stay back and complete ma' homewrk and henry agreed to accompany me! We managed to find a super conducive area to study....and haha! Noel even came to join us. really glad he did cause it was then when i realise how important our families are to us once again.hmmms. Ok, so we did work until around six forty and headed home. We walked all the way from school back to my house...that was really good exercise...smiles.
Thank you for being such an encouragement today henry, didnt actually thought we had so much to talk about. LOL. God's been really working in our lives and when we both looked back at how many changes that took place since our friendship began just now, He has been awesome.Just wanna encourage everyone who is reading this post... u are special to Daddy and he really loves you. Saf, be strong and continue seeking Him.God will make a way, when there seems to be no way, remember?i'll be backing you up with prayers...and i really hope to see you back on sundays. uve been a tremendous blessing to me and ive learnt so much today.

I got a bit poetic in class today. *the sky pierced into my eyes* haha..promise kiran to blog about this...so here it goes.
Was catching up with her abit and it was great!though we sit side by side each other everyday but sometimes, we're so caught up with our work and tests, that we often dont share more than we used to. She past a comment and asked me to wait till night falls, i was like: NO WAY! i cant wait...the sky is still piercing thru my eyes. [OK! sorry for those who're reading this, u may not understand what i mean...but it was really really solid poetry k?]=) we broke into serious giggles and it scared dome a little when he came over.
*anthitude* was another word which accidentally POPPED out of ma' mouth.shant elaborate but yeah...darrlling, u understanD yups?
alrights, am suppose to type out a nice little note that charis showed me today, but i really have to scurry cos ive got a bunch of little angels that i have to take care of. love them sooo much!=)

*Where's God?Why cant i find and feel him sometimes?Why do i feel that He seems to be playing hide and seek with me?=(*
If ure feeling like this, i want to assure you that its a NORMAL feeling. All of us go through moments of our lives when we feel that God is distant. Play along. Search high and low for Jesus. keep seeking and searching Him, and in no time, we'll find him and that is when He too, will reveal and show u great and unsearchable things!Was reminded when eunice told me that we SHOULD go search for Jesus when He doesnt seem to be ard. that's exactly how it needs to be coz usually we dont see Him coz WE are the one who have lost him, not the other way round. Jesus is always there for you...Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open unto you.
Have a blessed weekend and remember, God is Good, all the time.

Waited for your reply...but it never came~*

2005-01-25T02:22:00.000-08:00

Im home!=) finally those ten periods of fNn's over...im really tired, its only the second day of the week and im already outta breath!haha.but everything just turns out so well at the end of the day!was going on and on on the way back with ryan,jes and kiran how does one spell the letter 'W', it was so so comical!LOL!We celebrated Jannah's birthday today, it was really such a special moment for her as well for me. hmmms...the class has been thru so much together for the past year and seeing all of us getting so close to one another really brings joy to me. its like we will never be complete without one another,man...4E1, cant imagine life without u guys in school!beams. The cake was totally gorgeous and yummie!*lick ma' lips!* It also had stuff written on it too.*happy sweet sixteen birthday Jannah!*...we personalised a card for her too!it was really so thrilling getting her away while we were preparing the card and presents!Gave her a super big hug right on the spot and i knew she was on the verge of crying lahs...haha!silly girl, we love you toooooo!ure home?

[Just for yA*~janjan!]
Heys dearie...uve been sooo sweet to all of us and ive been learning so much from u, even thru yr friendship with farhana...you guys are such sweet little angels..heh! still remember those times when u kindly lend me yr stationery when i didnt have them...laughs and how i ALWAYS end up in the same grp with you,shaun and ahravin...man, without in my grp, i'll probably be murdered by them.faints!=) alrightys...just wanna affirm you for all uve done for 4E1 and that ure truely a blessing to us. Hope u enjoyed tt mini celebration during break time yeahs?*hugs hugs*Happy birthday girl-we love ya veri verY muChie!!

alrightys...i managed to catch up a little with jishana[my GB junior~muacks!] on the bus and talking to her just reminds me of my secondary three days.i mean, not like im really old, but yeahs...just reminded me of how Daddy brought me thru last year and how he helped me thru the big adjustment at that point of ma' life. really been blessed by all my friends who stood by me, including my CG. im praying for all of you daily, that u guys will always to use yr spiritual gifts and use it to glorify one another. spur each other on towards love and good deeds yups!??jia you jia you! i believe that u guys will be strong and that we'll go thru this important year together.have faith and keep believing.hmmms...still clinging on to Him so tightly and yups!still learning to set my piorities right these days. Being comfortable in discomfort..this phrase has been engraved upon my heart and God's really showing alot of things to me these days.Like what yongling says...its gonna be a hard and tough process...but with Jesus, everything is possible!YAY!=))

okie..gotta finish up all my project wrk...and oh ya!JOANNE! im proud of you...uve been decisive and really, i believe that u made a right decision. hmmms...gonna be pretty hard on you but i believe that u can do it.standing by you forever.Vera.love ya girl...drop by someday again and i'll whip up a meal for u again yeahs?miss those *impRomptU* days.laughs*big bear hug*

*lao gong gong shi bu hui sheng lao popo de qi de!* ~remb?=p

2005-01-23T02:05:00.000-08:00

how careless can i get? oh man...i blogged abt my class for abt one and a half hr plus and i even posted a dedication to each and everyone one of them and now its GONE! hmms...gonna do it again another day when i have more time, and this time, im gonna copy and paste it in the notebook!=)

[That tinkle spakling sensation~*]?
hmm... im not really sure if thats the right phrase to describe it girl, but...yes, it was once very dear to my heart, but not anymore. no matter how hard i try to recall, i just cant seem to remember much and i guess thats a good thing afterall!beams. Im glad that i chose to leave everything down at his feet and from this i understand that God's love is greater then anyone can ever fathom! so remember...Daddy loves you!=)

Gonna be such a hectic week starting frm tomorrow and i aint gonna waste any single second of my time! Learning to rely soley on Him is never easy, but im gonna try.
*And we have known and believed the love that God has for us.God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God, and God in him*
1 John 4:16
Keep seeking and praying. Jesus cares for u and remember!! He has a special plan for everyone of us, so be still and sensitive to what Daddy has to say to u everyday.LOve you guys!Have a blessed week ahead!

2005-01-17T03:59:00.000-08:00

Dreamy eyed. Thoughts running thru my mind at an outrageous speed. Just cant comprehend whats going on.Jesus, i need you,bring me through every single moment of my life.

i LOVE my class.4E1.=)

2005-01-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

[18th coy. i love you*~]
p/s: dedicated to 18th coy.

Had our first session of Girls brigade this afternoon.3pm. A total change, a different goal. 18th coy hasnt been the best comparing to the hundreds of company out there in singapore.but i can boldly say that it is one of the most united company ever.[esp in my eyes*] For us, my batch was the first and we had no officers and other helpers from the HQ, the seniors left and not many came back to help. We slackened alot in drill after josephine madm left and it was pretty much of a blow for us. I felt pretty lost and there was no longer as much enthusiasm in me to go for GB every saturday. Things grew better in our company when Jenny Madm and Auntie Grace came and help out.=) but still we didnt had any drill instructors who could teach us but by God's grace, we entered SYF and many drill competitions. Things remained the same, but 18th coy girls stood by each other always and here we are now!
I was really shocked when i heard abt all the changes that are gonna happen this year this afternoon. Stunned, but really excited. This year, we have only SEVEN girls who signed up to join GB. Tears nearly fell when i heard that. For the past three years, over thirty girls will join this big family,but this year....sigh.However im trying to focus on God's big plan with this seven girls, and im not gonna focus on the minute number of new recruits we are gonna have in 2005.
Auntie Grace is going to step down so that she can take good care of her new born grandson very soon. we're so excited for her man..hee!*Jia you!!auntie grace...uve been the 'mummy' to all of us in GB all this while.love u to bits!thk you sooo much* So....we are going to have two more helpers and three teachers in charge of 18th coy. For the very first time todae, i heard auntie grace talking to us really firmly about how she wants to get things right in this company. she laid the ground rules and we listened attentively. it was really such a wonderful moment, seeing everyone nodding in agreement and giving 100 percent attention. Things has never been this way for 3 whole years, and hey!its not too late to get things right in our company now yeahs? They reorganised the whole hierarchy thingy and changed posts of everyone..man, im still in drill comm, pretty excited though..but its so draining sometimes. i guessed God has planned for me to be really involved in GB for the next four months and i am willing to let him use me in everyway.haha..not gonna be M.I.A again like during the holidays...=X
It was a really great time of sharing just now in the prayer hub and never did i knew how pleased Jenny madm was with the year fours...so proud of all of you darrlingggs.....*big hug*
alrightys...i guessed its gonna be so exciting for all of us, since now we are running this company in a whole different way. Praying that everything will hit off properly this time round and i know that God will help us.
I was really glad that many agreed that christianity should be more emphasized in our company especially for us because we always have only ten minutes of sermon and thats all spiritually for our company. Remember to keep our eyes on God and that the GB is not all just about games and heavy drilling. *Seek, Serve and Follow Christ.* Live by this motto and serve actively girls. I love you guys so much and u guys are constantly on my mind.

SGT Jireh Goh, nice job today!=)*salutes*
Happy BB day!!11th coy!

2005-01-09T04:45:00.000-08:00

alrightys!im back im back! no more *faints. im home, eating my favourite otar.yumms yums!*rubs my tummy!* haha...laughs! once again, i am all alone at home, cause my family went out to baby terri's house to have coffee and cake..=) hmms. everyone's been blogging furiously abt their new year(2005) and all abt school, guess im the onli one who hasnt done any update on how WONDERFUL school has been i suppose?beams.

School has been great. Fantastic, but also a new adjustment for me. Everyone seems to be toning down and 4E1 has been such a conducive place to study in. Im blessed by everyone in my class. Those laughters and support that fills the place is just indescribable. I see God working in each and everyone of them and it just brings a smile across my face. Was ill for the past three days, but i managed to recover pretty fast. Remembered what i said the other time i was sick?JOY brings HEALING! yes yes, so totally agree with it.heex! Lessons have been heavy, and everything just seems so different at times. This year, im sitting with kiran. Everything's been going fine for us and it seems that i can concentrate so much better this year. Prayer really does wonders...dunch ya agree? =)
everyone has resoultions for a new year and no doubt, i also do have a long list of things that i want to accomplish this year. 2005's gonna past so fast and im really thrilled with what God has in store for me. I have been learning alot about the word *solitude. Since young, i never liked being alone. I loathed having my meals outside alone and shopping all by myself has been one of the things that i dreaded most. Everytime i had to go out alone and get stuff, i'll try to drag someone along or even be on the phone with whosoever...i was just really scared. Quite some time back, i remembered going out all by myself and mummy asked me to join her for lunch.something in me, hesitated, and i told her that i felt like having some time by myself at coffeebean instead. She was pretty suprised and she sent me a message. In the message she talked abt how solitude is good for our souls and that sometimes, we have to tone down and spent quality time with ourselves and God. It doesnt just mean quiet time lahs.yups! She also added that she was having *udon* at fiesta all by herself too and how much she enjoys that serenity and peace. It strucked me and that day, i had a fabulous personal retreat at westmall..man, shopping alone was pretty cool too! ha!Just today, i met up with charis at lot one's library to get some work done up. That girl was so lovely i tell you...had fun taking neoprints with her...and hey babe!those chicken wings u recommended were GREAT!*lick my lips*heeX. but that wasnt the special thing abt today's outing with charis. She had to leave for home at ard 730 n suprisingly i decided to stay back all alone in the kids section, doing my wrk! come to think of it, it was like WOW!Never expected myself to do that lah.laughs. It was a great time spent with my silly barron's book. managed to complete a few week's of work. oh ya! RYAN JOSEPH! yes you! u didnt turn up last minute yeahs? how mean ahhh...i'll blame u if i fail that upcoming chemistry test..giggles!haha.jking jking!=)

I guess this year's gonna be exciting and one of my goals is to really live up to my CG's motto. To be comfortable in discomfort. Its gonna be a tough thing for me, but i trust and rely on him to bring me through every obstacle. CG has been fabulous. Today was really heartwarming to see eeveyone trying to pray. just wanna encourage teresa yeahs?*darling girl, take courage and learn to pray aloud yeahs?i heard u prayed out aloud a few times already..its reallie great. Dun worry hur....Jesus listens to every little thing u pray and He's there for you always.*yups! still thinking hard abt our CG name. It was just so fun today..yeahs! being drunk and tipsy isnt the nicest thing that can happen to you ahhh...remember!0o0o0pS!

I'll be back blogging in a few days time yeahs? Just gonna depend on Him so much and learning to surrender every bit of myself to him. Its hard...but im learning. Been praying alot for the people around me and just seeing how God wrk in their life just makes me want to know my heavenly daddy so much more. I yearn to have a deeper relationship with you... only you Jesus.

Hmmms...the Gb motto is pretty a good reminder for me this year too yeahs?haha.
SEEK, SERVE and FOLLOW CHRIST. 18th coy.

2004-12-26T03:16:00.000-08:00

faints. im home, eating my favourite otar.yumms yums!*rubs my tummy!* im really so elated!! we won almost every match except two larhs!hahha! but overall it was a splendid day for me!yes yes. Woke up at seven ten and i began doing stuff, it was really amazing how much i wrote to her in the morning man...giggles. headed down to burger king and had mentoring. It was a really special time for us as we sat down over breakfast, talking abt what happened the past year and how God has amazingly helped us thru every trial. heys dearies...we've all been strong and im soooo proud of u girls.*hugggs* =)
Headed down to church at ard ten thirty and went up for service. today service was simply great. im broken.crushed. But at least i laid my treasure down at His feet.The heart is really such an important organ yeahs?*nods head*hmm...had camp afterglow just after lunch. It was a very funny time laughing over pictures and videos.lols. deleted like 575 pictures the other time with limmie...hahha!=)
*huaLALa huALAla HUALala!!*[jumps ard=P]it was an awesome time with the girls, jie and farand. they were the only two guys there ehx...and we still managed to beat most of the teams!!!!*thumbs up!* unity is strength. Sat down for a short time of TV just now and the most meaningful phrase that POPPED out onto the screen was : Unity is strength. the hualalaS for today didnt have any strategy...but we all stood united as one and played fairly and well. I had my fair share of screaming with joy and as well as tripping over and having blisters on my toes. haha! it was sooooo fun! Girls..i just cant express my overflowing love for u guys man...we've grew closer since september last yr and i agree with what eunice said today. so wad if theres a split in the CG in future?CG is just two hrs plus on a sunday..but our friendship goes on..and i pray tt it'll last forever. beams. u girls really supported each other thru everything.*salutes my darrrlings!* oH ya...teresa,NANA and siew tho u girls didnt playfor CG..u guys are still part of us.i still love u'all as much..wakkakas.=)
haha...im feeling so action pac now ehs...dunno whats happening.im feeling higHHhh...whee! alrightys, guess im going out later, gonna be sooooo lonely.bleahs. orchard lights again??i dunno, just hope not man...its the third time im seeing it!!=X
i'll be back to blog some time soon i HOPE! gonna be so busy getting ready for school.....whee!so tts all for now, see ya!love u all!

2004-12-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday and today has been the most amazing days i ever had man! i just cant believe what i and her can do all so suddenly. OKie...yesterday was totally cool! we went to uncle mushroom's house...my goodness, it was big.faints. i mean...ive been there many times, but this time, they had a NEW swing! yes..and the swing was swinging man....so fun! chat with uncle mushroom's sister and we combed every single part of his house....notice the word,COMBED, yes...his house was so huge man....hee!it was such an enjoyable time lahs.hee!i didnt touch my mobile for like a few straight hours. was really proud of myself!YAY! anyways...he's phone screwed up, so guess he didnt receive any of my replies till today?like ard eight plus?hee.lols.all singtel subscribers..faints! overall, it was great fun!!!!=)

Today was even better, suppose to stay at home and write cards in the morning and then go get more presents all alone at causeway, but that lovely girl, was so sweeeeeeeeeet, she dated me out s0o0o0o suddenly. i washed up like in ten minutes and hurry rushed down to meet her parents, and of cos...her!yes yes...we headed down to town and walked ard. suppose to get her school bag and someone else present but nothing seemed right for the both of us, so we headed down to heeren!LO and behold! she managed to find her bag...at was in a really sweet color, am prouda her that she was so decisive.. i mean, comparing to other time lahs...hee!*bIG hug* we managed to find that someone's present finally after such a long and difficult searcH, thks for yr patience dear....it was so bleahs having to run up and down of heeren, but i really wish he likes it!haha.alrightys, so lets see.we settled down for a nice and decent dinner at a jap shop @ cini. It was really such a fun day! i mean... when we're together, so many things which are unlikely to happen...happens!!!!!im so blessed to have this partner in crime man...hee!IMprOmptuS!!![ OHOH! the christmas lights and the swaying christmas trees were so beautiful. in love with them man.]

alrights. this lady is joanne. thanks dear, mummy just help me wrap yr present. its nice kes?hahha! and i think my HP's bill is gonna shoot if u call in again after 7 pm.!!!!hee...
Im pretty excited yeahs?its christmas tomorrow! i just cant wait to go for service tomorrow, gonna need joanne's help tomorrow again..wheee! its just FIFTEEN minutes to christmas, just wishing all of u a blessed christmas!=))

and OH! for all who aint that excited abt christmas, just wanna tell you that 25th of december are one of the most special days to me and i pray that u'll enjoy it just like i do!YAY!

2004-12-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

Just for you.~

Having known you for so long, i guess ure the one who has made nearly the greatest impact in my life. The things uve gone miles to do for us, can never be counted with our ten little fingers. Tears just stream down my eyes when the topic of you comes about. We are all emotional beings, and all we want you to noe is that ure nearly everything to us. Uve planted that seed in us and u watched us grow. NO one has ever stood by us so much den you have been.[besides our heavenly father=)] NO one has ever brought lovely eggtarts for us when we were preparing for our exam. NO one has ever made the inititive as much as you to call us up during the week. NO one leads BS as detailed as you. Every single thing uve taught us has already been instilled in us.and every session with you, comes along with so much value. NO one has ever given up someone he loves, partly cos of us. NO one brought us out and treat us to stuff when he barely has nothing in his wallet.NO one has ever solved conflicts for us so calmly as you did. Who buys vitamin C for us when we're just a tweeny bit sick. Its you. You did so much for us, and upon receiving the news, what do you want us to do then? Give us time, we're girls, we can be strong if we want to, but give us time to also get over you. I passed a comment last night. Each of us is like a piece of jigsaw puzzle, we all come together to form one big lovely puzzle, but when one leaves, the jigsaw puzzle is never complete without it. Its like a puzzle with beautiful stars on it, but the shiniest one, has lost its glow. I noe many will see it as if we're making such a big deal over this issue, but each and everyone of us, is sad. But we have all discussed. Theres nthing much we can do alreadys but now, to just support each other, esp ems. I am really touched to see how much we've grown throughout this whole year and im just so amazed how God moulded us into such fine beings. We've grown so much closer and we've all realise the importance of unity. Now, there's more people joining this big family, and who noes, the next thing may prolly be a split. man... we must be tough and not whine. Cos Jesus is in control of everything. We must have faith and take courage. We're gonna win this battle for Jesus. I love and enjoyed everything you guys have done for me, and ive never felt so blessed. Yesterday was one of those outings that i cudnt have asked for more.Love you guys to bits.=)

2004-12-22T05:34:00.000-08:00

oh dear!im finally home!!whee~faints.played so much of badminton and i swam swam swam just in one day. guess CG outing was one of the best today.hee! all could make it except glenn, mervin...and ems!=( but it was one of those outings that i cudnt have asked for more.beams.hee! im pretty *high now though. going out tomorrow again!suppose to go watch some movie, but aiyahs...forget it den!hahah...hmm, ive been learning alot from joanne man,she's such an encouragement. thks CG for everything..u guys have been the more supportive bunch i ever had..wakakkaks!alrightys, im gonna help mummy do some stuff now, see ya guys!*big bear hug*

2004-12-20T21:20:00.000-08:00

=) Ive never felt so young before after such a long time! Was not feeling too well this morning. feverish. but i thought i shud go down to eyc and do my work and meet up with beryl! But this morning, when i called up matt to check who's going down there, he was already on the way, so we met up at the coffeeshop and headed down to eyc. Eyc wasnt opened at that time so he suggested we shud walk ard causeway.haha!its real cold there yeahs?hee!silly you! yups, so jeremy su came and join us and i had a great time talking to them and teaching them how to do Quiet time. It was about one plus when we decided to head down to eyc again. yups!hhaa. We took turns and ride jem's bike!! it was so fun to be able to once again ride a bike..haha! super fun man.When i was nearing to the steps. i halt and pulled the brakes.i didnt dare to go down the steps on the bike cos i was afraid of falling down and getting like injured/hurt?lols. It struck me. like what eunice said ytd. People encourage us to be bold and just try stuff. They say getting hurt is natural and we have to just give ourselves a chance, if not we'll never know how it feels. But to me, its really a silly thing. why shud u try to get hurt first before learning yr lesson. why not guard yr heart first before anything happens?Do u wanna fall so badly and then u learn yr lesson? i guess we all go thru different moments of our life and sometimes, we have to make the right decisions and choices. Its like riding a bike. when you think you think you cant go on anymore, just let jesus take over the rear and ride it for you. Drawing back is not an easy situation and im still learning. Jesus will always be my comfort and strength and i know He loves everyone the same. so much so that He died on the cross for you. That's abt for it now, meeting beryl later ons cos she'll be stopping by eyc for a while.

JOanne! i miss you so so much..haven seen u like for three days?wakkakaks* i noe its super lame. will pray for you yeahs?get yr roots done and shine tt smile for eveyone again.*big hugs and flying kisses*

i dun want to go back.

2004-12-19T04:38:00.000-08:00

No one comprehends. no one understands. Why does everyone see things on such a superficial level? why does everyone thing that it would be another fairytale for the both of us?Those moments were sweet, but it only lasted for a while. Its been a heart wrenching time getting over it and i dont want to have another recurrence of this nature. Its locked. No one will be able to open it ever again unless He tells me to do so. Jesus, you guard my heart for me. I entrust you with the key and please help me through this moment of my life. I need you ever so badly to be in control and i know there's nothing i can do with you.

*Specially for joanne,lucille,yongling and beryl*
Uve girls have been so amazing. I enjoyed every single moment that ive spent with you all. Those laughters and things we shared, each of them have been engraved upon my heart and i'll remember u girls in prayer.Ive been through what you have been through. The hurt, confusion and pain. i understand and i pray that God will shower unlimited joy over you! i love each and everyone of you so much and its been a joy getting to noe all of you better.yes yes.Guard it well, remember.

Had CG today, it was a short session of games and chit-chatting! i enjoyed it very much. thks sam and ems. you guys have been the greatest! =) more people has joined our CG and im thankful that God has allowed our CG to expand... Jesus, thank you so much.
I guess there's nothing much left for me to say now, and i really agree with wad many has said. Dont give out your heart too easily.because... at the end of the day, u may be the one who's left hurting.

tts about all now. Gonna journal everything down to Daddy later. love you guys, see you!

2004-12-17T01:26:00.001-08:00

hmm...now im at eyc!! Its been so magical,getting to noe so many people thru just a camp.Hmm...maybe its not just a camp. Its moments in the camp that makes it so significant and special. Being able to talk to new people and to see how God wrks, its just so amazing.[Now andrew fam is like sitting beside me and helping me with my grammer.It doesnt mean tt my english is that bad la!hee...]ookok...been spending alot of time in church and oso joanne's place. Wrapping presents and getting to noe each other better. thks girl. ure such an encouragement.gonna be accountable to u over tt issue yeahs?thks dearie.Yesterday was one of the most amazing days in my life. it was a simple and short gathering over at my place, we didnt really go plan abt it.it was so sudden. Limmie,Jo,Ximin,Yong ling,Lucille,Sarah,Beryl came over to my place after the strengthening course and we ordered pizza, sat down.paint nails and shared so much.Ximin and limmie left earlier but it was still such a JOY to have them over. thks girls.hmmm....we had pizza and chat till it was like 7 plus? Moved to my room and had such a nice time throwing pillows and sharing. I guess each of us went back with one big lesson. That fellowship is veri endearing and its such a joyous moment.Can u believe it? Emily talked and shared on the topic FellOWSHIp just this morning. It was such a coincidence.I want to encourage all of you to spend time with the people closest to u, including yr family. Its the holidays, all of us are so caught up with our activities, and there's a huge tendency to neglect those closest to yr heart. So why dunch date them out and make it a point to spend solid and quality time with them.=)

* a prayer for little matthew*
Dear heavenly father, i just want to commit matthew into yr hands.U noe how tired and how weak his body condition is.Strengthen him and continue to lift him up with yr right hand.Protect him and his family and just allow his parents to see and understand the other side of matthew.Shower him with love and encamp each and everyone of yr angels ard him.Show yrself to him and u keep him close to yr side.Daddy, u noe and love matt the most,just comfort him at his driest moment.fill him with yr love.
In jesus name i come to pray Amen!!*

alrights,tts abt it for now, going to go over to joanne's house later and have the second session of sharing with the girls...cant wait for all the thrill we're gonna have!cya guys ard yeahs?gotta run!

-i wanna guard my heart and devote my entire life to you Jesus*

2004-12-17T01:26:00.000-08:00

hmm...now im at eyc!! Its been so magical,getting to noe so many people thru just a camp.Hmm...maybe its not just a camp. Its moments in the camp that makes it so significant and special. Being able to talk to new people and to see how God wrks, its just so amazing.[Now andrew fam is like sitting beside me and helping me with my grammer.It doesnt mean tt my english is that bad la!hee...]ookok...been spending alot of time in church and oso joanne's place. Wrapping presents and getting to noe each other better. thks girl. ure such an encouragement.gonna be accountable to u over tt issue yeahs?thks dearie.Yesterday was one of the most amazing days in my life. it was a simple and short gathering over at my place, we didnt really go plan abt it.it was so sudden. Limmie,Jo,Ximin,Yong ling,Lucille,Sarah,Beryl came over to my place after the strengthening course and we ordered pizza, sat down.paint nails and shared so much.Ximin and limmie left earlier but it was still such a JOY to have them over. thks girls.hmmm....we had pizza and chat till it was like 7 plus? Moved to my room and had such a nice time throwing pillows and sharing. I guess each of us went back with one big lesson. That fellowship is veri endearing and its such a joyous moment.Can u believe it? Emily talked and shared on the topic FellOWSHIp just this morning. It was such a coincidence.I want to encourage all of you to spend time with the people closest to u, including yr family. Its the holidays, all of us are so caught up with our activities, and there's a huge tendency to neglect those closest to yr heart. So why dunch date them out and make it a point to spend solid and quality time with them.=)

* a prayer for little matthew*
Dear heavenly father, i just want to commit matthew into yr hands.U noe how tired and how weak his body condition is.Strengthen him and continue to lift him up with yr right hand.Protect him and his family and just allow his parents to see and understand the other side of matthew.Shower him with love and encamp each and everyone of yr angels ard him.Show yrself to him and u keep him close to yr side.Daddy, u noe and love matt the most,just comfort him at his driest moment.fill him with yr love.
In jesus name i come to pray Amen!!*

going over to joanne's house now!its gonna rawK so much later man..having a stayover and a continuation of yesterday's session.hee!am excited abt it.yay!meeting up shuyu soon too..on the 20th, i really cant wait!=)*beams*

-i wanna guard my heart and devote my entire to you Jesus*

2004-12-10T03:10:00.000-08:00

!Heys!
its been ages since i last blogged.So many things have happened and it just sends me into deep thoughts occassionally. Just returned from my church youth camp like an hour or two back. This time youth's camp really taught me so much and i guess it was a good time spent there. Had some moments to reflect about the past and it sometimes just brings me to tears.

*thUndErpaNts*
First day of youth camp was pretty cool. Reported at like SEVEN! crazy yeahs?but its ok.haha. Went into a time of prayer and sharing. It was really fun talking to grace and heys...got to know her so much more after this camp, and let me tell u, she's super duperweeee sweet! Had fun working with her during camp too cos she's in ma group.!!yay!! We headed down to cana hall and met up with our teams members who reported at like ard 830?yeahs yeahs. Initially, i was really worried yet excited. Didnt noe if i could be of much help to Caleb [c0olest TL ever=)], cos it was afterall my first time taking up the role as an ATL. He was really nice okies? Those encouragements he showered upon me just make me felt more confident each day. Thks so much.=) haha. Had a few rounds of games as well as some cheers. it was so funny and i really did enjoyed getting to noe my team mates better!*hurrays!! On that same day, we had Survivor* at sembawang park. It was drizzling at that point of time but we still had heaps and heaps of fun!and thUnDerPants came in SECOND man!*claps claps* lolx. The fishing 'tournament' was really terrible [sCreams!] Got my feet all dirty N sandy..and my whole trackshoe was soaked!i was like arghs! but i guess it was an incredible time spent with my team members despite not catching any fishes except two dead ones that raymond and matt found.*roFl* but seeing those smiles and hearing those laughters of my group members, just brings me so much joy!yups.
Was so tired after debrief that night so we prepared QT material for the next day and headed to bed. dreamland....

Second day was the most tiring day ever in the whole of the camp. *faints*[but this time during amazing race, i DID NOT faint.Lemme emphasize, i was strong.=)lols!]
so yeahs...we had amazing race which started frm like ten till four? ended up at lab park for games N dinner with icecream.Amazing race really taught me more abt how important cooperation was if we want to reach the finishing line asap.Victor was our hero of the day... he helped us get thru so many obstacles during the whole journey.*beams*
played Boggie man and Token lady at lab park. partner with keith,nat and caleb.It was so dark and i had to fun up and down the steps just to get the token lady. Every game we played thru out the camp taught us many lessons. It was a fruitful time man...Got to talk to andrew for quite abit and i realise he's pretty interesting too. didnt noe till that day.lols. but like 3/4 of the conversation was abt math...and science?haha!

alrites....the third day was WILD WILD WET! it was the best day ever..had so much fun screaming and getting all wet. I just admire those who had the courage to sit the tsunami thingy ok? i will never have the guts to do it...not even if u drag me up there.*screams!!* hee.yups yups. tts the last thing i'll go on. my heart wud probably just jump out.We left the place at four and headed back to get ready for omega night. Many joined us for the omega night concert which was led by sam! the band ONE was super cool and i cud see many enjoyed themselves,even janis!:D

As the days past during the camp..more souls were saved and it was an awesome sight to see how God worked in each and everyone's life. It was totally amazing. Not everyone accepted Christ but at least...the seed has already been planted in them...so dun lose heart people. Jesus will make a way!=) Thunderpants came in SECOND overall and it was so sweet to see how everyone was cheering and smiling.
Congrats to iceage too yeahs?*they came in First* yay!three cheers for theM!
anyways...dunch u guys totally agree that this whole camp isnt all abt who wins or who loses, but our main purpose is to win souls for Christ and to get the people connected to Jesus?amen??:D
I was really proud of matthew,the one in my group. He's onli at a tender age of twelve but i was moved to tears when he came and grab me and said:" i called my mum just, and she said tt i cud be a christian." the most important part was...matthew took the inititive and pluck up his courage to call his mum. No one made him call to seek permission frm his mummy. Not only he has the desire to be a child of God, he respected his parents' decision too.Matt's been the sweetest little boy ever in this camp..and im really praying hard that he'll be able to grow more during the upcoming sessions in church frm mon-fri!

alrites...i guess thats abt it for now.leaving tmr...im gonna miss church this sunday...will miss all of ya yeahs?*big hug* hmms...so i'll see ya guys ard when im back?bye bye!

-Girls, guard yr heart ever so tightly.tts what ive been learning once again.=)

2004-11-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

heys~
im back again!sitting in front of a computer listening to the "beautiful" music playing behind me..arghs!renovation plus the sound of a vacuum, how good can it get yeahs?
Been too busy to blog anyways....

+Tuesday+
Watch princess diaries with joanne and hmmm...it was an ok show i guess,not as good as *cinDeRella stoRy* but we had fun.=) She met her mummy after the show and i headed home.so that was tuesday lahs..nthing much too i guess!

+Wednesday+
This was one of the coolest day of my whole holiday which just started onli last friday!yupps...met up with shuyu and vivian and of cos...Joanne.yups!we met at around ten and headed off to buy the ingredients..had an enjoyable time with them buying all the stuff. Brought them back home and we started to get dirty and messy...it was cool to see how much fun they were having to get those hands into the dough and kneading it! the cookies and cake came out just fine..hmm..except one tray of the choc chips cookies...had it with icecream too.yummies!!! we sat dowN to watch sum VCDs while joanne went abt cooking lunch...she's a great cook.TRUST me on tt.=))
they went back ard four and we've decided to meet sumtime soon after we're not too busy in december.yeahs...*joanne,shuyu,vivian...u guys have been a total blessing!

+thursday+
Went over to jo's house again again again!! we made breakie and she headed off to school for meeting. i met him up and we bought stuff lahs..it was fun man.haha*beams*
Met joanne again after her meeting and we started to cook...shant go into [details] but we had an enjoyable lunch together...had nearly abt 7 dishes? A genie so magically appeared and assisted us with the washing up and of cos...it help us finish up all the food.

Haha!been a long week for me, i really must get down to some serious studying this weekend!but im really not sure abt it..cos there's BURN tmr and mentoring on sunday...i miss mentoring so much and finally..EUNICE has finished all her papers.so glad for her!!okok....gonna go out later to get some stuff...shant be at home till evening?im not too sure tho..lols.cya guys.

* For every minute ure upset..u lose 60 seconds of happiness*
[ so why waste it rites? keep that smile on and shine for Jesus!!]

2004-11-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

As usual, im over at joanne's house blogging. Met up with jo, daniel and siew mun for meeting this morning and man...daniel was so late!*rOfL* yups! gonna catch a movie later with her, wonder how its gonna be. When we were abt to take the lift down after checking out the timings of the movies, he smsed. Haha...beats me wads going on, but it was shockingly conincidental. doubt i'll catch that show with u lahs.haha! we'll see kes?
Joanne's a good companion to watch a movie with.i mean in my case lahs! she adds excitement and thrill to the movie...those screams and laughter we share!okok...=))

Gotta help mummy iron and settle sum more house chores when i get back at night. Sigh~ i pulled out of my EOY dance recital. dunno if im suppose to be happy or sad! but oh well... at least i can go to pre camp!! Hope it'll be fun and all... yeps! guess tts abt it for todae though. Did quiet time in the morning todae and the key verse is~

*Come near to God and He will come near to you.* James 4:8
Feel that its really meaningful, so take a moment and give this verse some thought. alrites, i better get going.Ciao!

MagicaL?*hee...

2004-11-22T04:59:00.000-08:00

*wheee!!!* im home!just showered and here i am, smelling so good. ok,at least i feel that im nice smelling lahs...esp when u had a exciting and fun filled day,everything just seem to fall in place so nicely! yupp yups!
just got back home frm joanne's house AGAIN. ok,lemme get this straight ok?im not always the one imposing on her ahhh!! she's just lazy to come over and her house seem to be a much better place where we can do our lil crimes w/o anyone seeing...get it?~wakakkas! ok,so as usual, i appeared at her house with this *big present. the *present came with many many food items and it was so magical man...the present* whipped up so many dishes and of course...it turned out so sucessful beacuse i and jo helped out too!it was fun and so sumptuous! [lick my lips...hmmm]

we managed to catch the show Passion of the Christ finally..it was very touching and the tears of mine fell uncontrollably, and i and jo screamed so much man...those nail peirced hands just brought stabs to my heart.Jesus was blameless and innocent but He still chose to lay down His life just specially for YOU and ME. =)
Oh yea...after the show,we played our newly invented games..it was crazy man!oh...come to think of it, ms NG won all the games..hee!yups..overall..the day past quickly with her and the magical present!yups...thks guys.

haha...i woke up feeling pretty bleahs cos i had to take so much medication kes?it was torturous.the pills were huge and the cough medicine made me felt so drowsy.barely could walk ehs.. but things were so much better when my daddy offered to drive me to school..love him so much!*hugs him!* ok...so i was suppose to go to school for the GB badgewrk thingy.i missed this time's fun camp cos firstly, i wasnt fit enough to go and partly also because of the silly canoeing arrangement,so yups!i didnt noe how much fun i missed till the girls updated me all about it. 99 percent of the entire conversation was abt how CUTE the BB officers who conducted the canoeing session were, alex this,alex that!my goodness. we had to role play some total defence skit and it so happened that there was one character called Alex too and my goodness!they screamed so loudly and like everyone wanted to take the role as Alex's wife...mamamia!i gotta see how cute he is man..deciding to spend more time together as a company, and i pretty much guess that our get together activity will be with those officers.aiya!beats me wads up those darling's sleeves. all they care now is abt Alex...*beams* haha!im gonna be a total defence ambassador, how cool is that rites? =)) the speaker was frm HQ, and she was one of the coolest instructor i ever seen man...so blessed to have her!

ok..tts pretty much abt today, gonna have a long week again i guess,decided to not take up the job at body contours cos i and jo will be so busy, guess i better find time to have a personal retreat. Just between me and Daddy...am looking forward to it! yups.okie, guess i shall end here.You guys epend yr hol time wisely yeahs?will be keeoing everyone in my prayers. see ya!

p/s: spOnGe cake!expecting smthing more??.hee!im shy to write abt it here lahs...told ya im joking.dun tell me u took me for real,anywaes...Run for fund* was so cool, cos i had u ard yeahs?tk care mr 2nd Lieutenant!

It's a God thing

2004-11-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! just got back from 'Run for fund' and im home alone.yups.Didnt wanted to run initially because i was still coughing pretty badly so i accompanied joanne to collect sum stuff from causeway and we ended up snacking after which we took a train down to sembawang!*phew!didnt have ta run man...i was praying so hard that daddy would be around somewhere so he could fetch me home,but to my dismay, he was still doing work at a very very far place. ok...Katong i mean. Mummy suggested that we dine out with auntie maureen at some fish head curry shop but i decided that i should go back and get some rest and newaes,i had so much already!^yumm yums! Guess wad!in the end, i had to walk all the way from sembawang to church and then back home,but i guess it was good exercise and i managed to catch up with many...hee!it was fun running a little with daniel. managed to burn some calories i guess....okok!!!!!
~talking abt BURNing calories, i just wanna remind everyone again that on the 27th Nov, we'll be having a telematch cum BBQ at WEFC aka The Rock. yupps!! trust me yea?it'll be fun and there will be so much food. Eat till u drop tt kinda thing ya?get it!!?hee...so come join us alrites?its just three dollars...=)
[siew,dunch ya just love me?*beams* i'll be praying for you and ah blur too!no worries,Daddy's in control..]

Left joanne's house ard ten thirty and we headed to church for ushering. Today's service seem to have lesser people then usual, had so many empty spaces and all, but Pastor Ivan gave a good message. I did understand him so much better too. The sermon was on *Jealousy is a God thing*. It really spoke to me alot about how we are always caught up in our daily hectic lives and the mentality that "aHH..God can always wait." always comes about. We place the events and programmes in our lives before God and we seldom have time to sit down and really listen to Him. God is a jealous God, He yearns for you to sit before him like His little children and listen to what He has to say to us. Temptation to go our own ways and putting ourselves first w/o seeking God's directions are always strong, but God will help us to stand firm as long as we are willing.Yups!

im so so bored now,tomorrow will be pretty fun day i guess. Beats me whats gonna be in for us at *body contours*...shall update u guys about what it is...=)
okok...im gonna go watch some tv now,you guys take care and i'll see ya ard again yeps? Ciao!
*oh...told ya sherry,things are so different now...man...heh!

oN my magic carpet~

2004-11-20T08:21:00.000-08:00

*beams*im at joanne's house now...thot i shud just drop a post before i head to bed,she's like painting those pretty nails of hers!yups!

today's so fun...had a great time discussing a whole lot abt the 27th nov telematch with siew,sarah and jo.it was a wonderful time spent together...and all those crazy ideas we came up with man..bet it'll be so fun on that day...just wish many will come...yups!headed down to church to mend the booth for youth camp and hey hey hey!its da last day for camp registration.$29.90 for non christians...its a special offer entitled just for ya..yea yea yea*

okie,so ma parents send me over to joanne's hse and in the end,they spent hrs talking abt da upcoming trip and so much stuff abt *children nowadays*...get wad i mean yeahs?okie,wanted to watch mona lisa smile initially,but we changed the show to aladdin after much though,cos it was pretty boring.haha!the show was so cool and sweet.it sent me and jo into *oooohs and ahhHs*...it was nice.so thrilling too...hahha!
alrightys, i'll shall end here,im gonna paint ma toes too.having ushering for 11 pm service.so excited!we're having an audio conversation with some one special.so cools!gonna chat till so long i guess..=)) [double chIn*?]hehe

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
John 14:6
^remember this, Jesus gives strength to the weary, He's the only one who can restore you and heal you. this is specially for those who are sick and needs healing.

You've been a blessinG

2004-11-18T20:02:00.000-08:00

okie!here i start blogging again,and its all thanks to my little princess,joanne! this entry is JUST for you oh yeahs?love you loads =)

~* i read this from the book justin gave me and i really think it describes joanne the most.
1 corinthians 13:4-5
love is patient,love is kind and it is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,is not provoked,does not take into account a wrong suffered. [*love= joanne*]
i really think this passage brings out so much in joanne. if you guys didnt noe,i knew her since we were in cradles and we go all the way back in bartley cc. she's one who is dependable and no matter what happens,she'll be there for you and her laughter just brings so much joy to everyone ard her. Joanne, there's so much i have to say to you,but i dun wanna it turn into a testimonial,like in friendster...haha!okie,lets see, we meet up quite often during a week and the calls we make to each other,never fails to send jarrell into many many complains,haha. she carries herself really well and she's kinda different from me at times too.Like when shopping together,im the one who always picks up weird clothings and giggle at them while she looks and picks up nice,H.C pieces. [it doesnt mean i have bad taste okie*hmpF*hee!] she's very very discipline and my my my..her room never seems to be messy and her things are always in place.she loves shopping at my place too and my parents love her so so much. She's one who will make the effort to find time and spend with her friends and reach out to them. Indeed she's one who people comes to when they're in need. JOanne has many many cute lil habits and actions that sends me laughing and its so pleasant to be with her!!!! she's been a great great blessing to me and i noe that she has been a blessing to everyone else too.remember darling,no matter what happens,i'll stay by u and support u thru wadever situations. walk closely with Daddy and continue to talk to Him,seek Him with all your heart and He'll give you the desires of your heart.
once again,thks for being my friend girl! cant imagine wad will happen w/o u ard! remb wad we tok abt on the fone?hee!

ohoh!to all those who helped view and see if the blog fits me and al, with the help of jo,many thks to you.im really veri suprised and happy!
love ya guys!

SuRpR|sE~*

2004-11-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

a SurPrSe for You..HoPe You lIke Ths. I've tried mY best To makE eveRytHing nEeded..:) *smLeS*